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Single parents and casual sex
Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 13:41
First, let me start by saying this is my first forum discussion ever, so forgive me if it is messed up.
The discussion I would like to engage in is about single parents and casual sex. I personally, understand we all have needs, and I have no issues in getting my needs met (please do not take this as an open invitation for every perv on this site to contact me for sex). But, I also feel that as a single parent, I need to be a good role model to a growing group of kids. I have a daughter who is reaching 'teen' status and I know that her life will be faced with the 'sex' issues soon, that is me not being niave, and I dont want her to think that casual sex is OK. Now as you read that...you are thinking hypocrit....cause I am. I have casual sex all the time, but I dont ever bring anyone home, my kids have never woken up and found a man in my bed. I have chosen to abstain from relationships for over 4 yrs...cause I dont want them to grow up and have a dozen 'step-dads'. My kids have met some of my male friends, but in a friend setting.
I have a friend who introduced a man to her daughter...for the relationship to not work out, but they remain friends....friends with benefits...and her daughter regularly wakes up with her 'mom's friend' in her mom's bed. Does this seem right? I personally feel this would promote casual sex with friends to my child... Maybe I am being too sheltering?? Could I get others' takes on this type of situation..and I would really like to honestly know how you all feel on this issue.
Your comments are welcomed and will be appreciated..
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There's nothing wrong of
There's nothing wrong of having a casual sex. Its our instinct, and we usually feel like doing it once in a while. But for single parent, casual sex is unappropriate considering the impact it will create when your kids see you with different guys, everytime. But you can explain to your kids, but what about other people like your friend, neighbors or even relatives. It will put you in shame. The best way is abstain, try to avoid doing things that will feel like you want to have a night's take out. Or try to enter in a relationship. Open up and move on and re-marry. There are lots of individuals out there who can fulfill your needs but with LOVE. Isn't nice to have sex with someone that you know that loves you and that you love so much...
YOU ARE IN A RIGHT WAY... WE
YOU ARE IN A RIGHT WAY... WE ARE JUST HUMAN AND WE LIKE IT OR NOT WE HAVE DESIRES... BUT JUST DO IT IN RIGHT PLACE AND RIGHT TIME ESPECIALLY THAT SOMEONE (OUR CHILD) ALWAYS LOOKING FOR YOU ON WAT U DID EVRY NOW AND THEN....
IN OWN VIEWS IF I BRING SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE AND SLEEP WITH I SEE TO IT THAT I HAVE A COMMITMENT WITH HIM AND IT IS FOR THE BEST AND FOREVER BUT IF IT IS JUST FOR DESIRES OR SHORT TIME THEN I BETTER DO IT OUTSIDE MY HOME.... RESPECTING ONE'S HOME IS LIKE RESPECTING PEOPLE LIVING IN IT....
SO KEEP IT UP I AGREE WAT U R DOING AND MAINTAIN YOUR GOOD REPUTATION AND DIGNITY IN THE EYES OF YOUR CHILD.....
bambi75
Being a single parent myself, with 2 girls, i am sure i will have to deal with this same issue at some point. Right now i just take it a day at a time. Everyone has a right to do their own thing. I do not knock anyone for their choices. However, i find it easier for me to deal with this sort of thing by not having casual sex. Sure, we all want to have sex and we desire it but i choose to only have sex when i am involved with someone. I have been divorced for 2 yrs and my kids have met one man. It was a mistake and now i know better.
shadowgirl58
a child should not be allowed to be subjected to that-they couldn't understand they are innocent they wiill have questions too soon OMDEARG
it is good to show a healthy attitude about relationships but my oh my I am so shocked by this
why on earth where the child is or not lock a door!
If i had aa angel i surely wouldn't leave some one at my house with my daughter in teh next rm or even --darn now i finally am dis-turbed by this...
why go home get a sitter u trust and go to a darn motel!
a motel might seem a cheap shot by he's there then he's not!! bad example if u ask me
CrystalLinda
No, i think you are doing the right thing. Just because an adult does something, does not mean a kid should-kids should not drink, smoke, gamble and they should not have sex either, causual or not. I do not bring a guy home to meet my daughter unless he is someone special and i know will be around a while. I do agree w/you that you should not bring guys to your home just to bang w/your kid there-go to a hotel or his place, that last thing you want is your daughter to lose respect for you.